Ahuti
Written: 24 Baisakh, 2058 vikram samvat [May 2001];
Original Title: Seto Aatankakarilaai Raato 'Aatankakaari'ko Jawaaph;
Translated: from the Nepali by Mary Des Chene;
Published in: Janadesh;
Transcribed: for marxists.org August, 2002.
Against the white terror you spread
sans notice
through my settlement
Before your rule
having given notice
openly present
I am a 'terrorist'
murder me if you can!
After sniffing the fragrance
of flaming revenge ablaze
atop the graves
of my mother
father
grandmother
grandfather,
generation upon generation of my lineage
after spreading the ashes
of yearnings
for a beautiful life
I've come
Today I've not come
to ask for a thing
I've come to stir up
an earthquake of terror
in your heavenly joy
I am the 'terrorist' of your heaven
murder me if you can!
Under your empire
my father never begged
your Narayanhiti palace
never begged
the pearl-studded glittering crown of your line
never begged for my mother
the diamond-studded ring
of your wife's ring finger
To build a Taj Mahal
upon the fresh blood of slaves
in memory of a stale love
is not the custom of my lineage
But this was begged
laying prostrate before you
one hot meal, one warm shelter
a fistful of happy sighs, dying a carefree breath
for me the cost of cheap sandals
for little sister cheap cough syrup
for mother rough homespun
to cloak her body
in this world
a small free life
as the part of human beings!
After spilling buckets
of sweat and blood
did my father not retain
this much right?
Under your great 'democracy'
I never requested
your Singhadarbar
never requested
the boudoirs of your summer and winter concubines
never requested
your retainers' landed estates
never requested
your expensive cars
the classrooms of your childrens' foreign schools
the dance club where your daughter prances
was never requested
never requested
deeds to five star hotels or beer factories
five storey buildings or bottles of liquour
never requested for my wife
your wife's pearl necklace
never requested
the nipple of the wet-nurse
that streamed milk to your children
To let out our children for rearing
is not the custom of my lineage!
But this was requested
palms pressed together
a yoke of bullocks and a cowshed
a strip of earth to turn and a plough
work and a shelter to keep body and soul together
cheap copy and pen for the children
cheap salve for the wife's cracked feet
small liberated life free of the debt of the poor
After giving over to your rule
all of life's creations
did I not retain
this much right?
But time after time
every time
after the gracious entreaty of my lineage/
after my quiet request
I had to pass
crying sleepless hungry nights
with my little daughter
I had to measure
laboured breathing
of a son suffocated by pneumonia
had to endure
sighs in the eyes of couples
whose love perpetual anguish has crushed
Forever and a day
at the hearth of my lineage
I've endured
hopes severed in youth
Forever and a day I've carried
laid prostrate by endless hopes
laid flat by endless kicks
the cold corses of kin/
blood-soaked cold cold corpses!
But today
all requests are at an end
Not one
plea of mine for mercy
lies before you now
Make all preparations!
gather explosives, leg-irons, handcuffs or loaded rifles
make speeches, conspire, propagandize fully against me
Laying down all requests
I've come to murder you
come to murder your beautiful 'democracy'
come to challenge your god
who would write the fate of my lineage
After sniffing the fragrance
of flaming revenge ablaze
atop the graves
of generation upon generation of my lineage
after spreading the ashes
of yearnings
for a beautiful life
I've come
For all time
my lineage is the 'terrorist' of your heaven
Murder my lineage if you can!
_______________
*Narayanhiti: palace of the Nepali monarchy.
Singhadarbar: formerly a palace of the Rana autocracy (1846-1950); now houses the parliament [parliament disbanded by Prime Ministerial and Royal fiat in order to extend State of Emergency, May 2002].